Wedding and Marriage
Preparing for a Gospel-transformed Marriage
We believe it is God’s desire that His gospel is to transform every aspect of our lives—particularly marriages, producing great joy and demonstrating what God is like to all those around us.
The culture today (even within churches) tends to view marriage more as a means of self-satisfaction than a covenant relationship designed for the purpose of God’s kingdom and glory. It is far too easy and tempting to make special things, such as romance, marriage, and love into ultimate things in our lives, settling for less than the true satisfaction that is ours in Jesus.
We believe the marriages in our church are to be primarily ambassadors of the gospel, therefore, we take preparing for marriage very seriously. So seriously that we ask those of you interested in pursuing marriage with us to complete this pre-wedding process even before you set a wedding date. Why? So that in preparing for your wedding day you do not divert your resources (time, money, emotional energy, etc.) from preparing for a marriage. Your wedding will last a few hours, your marriage a life-time.
What you can expect
We recommend you read the short book, Practicing Affirmation by Sam Crabtree, before ever meeting with a Pastor to begin pre-marital counseling.
The couple comes prepared to discuss all questions from Pre-Marital Questionaire at initial meeting with Pastor.
The couple completes Biblical Theology of Marriage and Family Worksheet and brings it to designated meeting. The couple works through toegether Preparing for Marriage by Dennis Rainey.
Our Goals for Pre-Marital Counseling
- Information: Do we understand and believe what the Bible says about marriage?
- Skills: Do we know how to apply Biblical teaching on communication, conflict resolution, sexuality, etc. towards an everyday life that's motivated by the gospel?
- Accountability: Do we have close relationships with peers and leaders that provide a context for growth toward maturity during the engagement process and after the wedding?
It is certainly not our desire for you to see this as a bunch of hoops to jump through so that you are guaranteed the perfect marriage or to get a "blessing" from the church. It really is motivated from a desire to love you well in preparing you for marriage. It is possible, and highly likely, the pastor leading you may ask for you to add or change something in this process. Marriage is dynamic, so will be this process.
As much as possible, the couple participates in a 6 month and 1-year check up with officiating Pastor.
If after reading this you feel like the process seems a bit arduous… you are correct! The pastor conducting your wedding ceremony is responsible before God to care for you, and we want to be certain you are well prepared for this weighty commitment and that, as a member of Christ's bride, our marriages are vibrant and bring glory to God knowing that: a marriage that brings glory to God is also a marriage that will bring you lasting joy because that joy is found only in Christ.
Additional Resources that will help you in your Marriage:
Preparing for Marriage-Editor Dennis Rainey
Tying The Knot Tighter - Martha Peace & John Crotts
Love That Lasts - Gary & Betsy Ricucci
Reforming Marriage-Doug Wilson
Her Hand in Marriage-Doug Wilson
Federal Husband-Doug Wilson
When Sinners Say I Do-Dave Harvey
Preparing for Marriage God’s Way-Dr. Wayne Mack
Christian Living in the Home-Jay Adams
Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage In the Bible-Jay Adams
The Role Relationship of Men and Women-George Knight
Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood-John Piper and Wayne Grudem
Sex and the Supremacy of Christ-John Piper
What Did You Expect?? - Paul David Tripp
The Exemplary Husband: A Biblical Perspective-Stuart Scott
The Excellent Wife: A Biblical Perspective-Martha Peace
Divorce - John Murray